Moments that Might Have Been
by Petra Megami Assari
Summary: Shonenai. People go through life regretting many things... but there is always the question of what might have been. Late one night, Remus Lupin questions the things he has done... and the things he didn't do. Spoilers to Bk. 5.


Petra: Here's an INCREDIBLY short little ficlet.  
Kati: *growls* I didn't want it short!  
Petra: Well... you never want anything short!   
Kati: *snarl*   
Petra: I made myself keep this short, because I didn't want it getting complicated. The feelings weren't supposed to be complicated and I felt that if I went and made the fic long, it would just drag things out.  
Kati: Actually, I got this idea from a fic that Pet-chan glanced over but didn't really read.  
Petra: *clenches fists* Don't... call... me... Pet-chan...  
Kati: Or what? You'll beat me up... Pet-chan?  
Petra: *screams and dives at Kati*  
Kati: Oh yeah...?  
  
DEDICATED: For regret... and for moments that might have been...  
WARNING: Shoenen-ai. (Means boy/boy love.) Don't like it? See that back arrow up there? Click it. Also, spoilers for the fifth book.  
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter, I do not own. I wish that I had a throne. And while I sit there high above. Please enjoy and remember: Don't do drugs! ... ... ... ... ... -_-; Don't ask...  
  
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Moments that Might Have Been  
  
"I never imagined I'd miss him, but I do now. I silently grieve for the freedom we took for granted, for the unexplored possibilities between us, for what we can never be." -Rhysenn; Measure of Worth (HP)  
  
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NOTE: Haven't read the fifth book? Don't want to know what's going to happen? GO BACK!!!  
  
What would I have done, had a known what would happen? I would have told him I loved him, for one. I never did tell him, you know. After I learned he hadn't been the one to betray Lily and James I was too busy relishing in being his friend. Then, slowly, just as it had done before, my feelings changed. I remember, when I left him that last time, I remember having a flash of uncertainty as I stared at him. I remember opening my mouth to tell him… and then I didn't. I said, "I'll see you later," instead and that was that. To tell all truth, I don't remember much of that night, after Sirius…  
  
It's all a big blank and I believe that I went into shock for a while because, the next thing I remember is being curled in a corner of his old bed, my arms wrapped around my knees, crying silent tears. I remember smelling him, due to my heightened werewolf's senses, on the sheets and thinking: This is the last that remains of him. This is the last time I'll smell him… And it hurt.   
  
I remember that moment now, that moment where I almost told him, and I find that I no longer regret anything… except that one moment. In one moment of fear I lost a love that might have been, I lost the kiss that I might have had… I never got to hold the man whose heart I might have held… And then, in a blinding second of terror and loss and pain, he was gone… as were the moments that might have been… I'd lost him once before... but this time, he won't be coming back. So now, I'll raise my glass of straight-up alcohol which might hold the nightmares at bay for a small while. Here's to you, Sirius… and, had I not been afraid, here's to the moments that might have been.  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: That's it people!  
Kati: No sequel!  
Petra: Don't even ask!  
Kati: Why would we bother?  
Petra: Exactly!  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


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